Thursday, March 17, 2011

Practice anxiety

Ugh, I haven't felt this way in months. While I've been slowly improving, I'm not making leaps and bounds and I found out last night that the training committee is really gonna start stepping things up at practices. They've already begun tracking attendance and I am pretty good on that front so no worries there, but I'm at a point where there are times that I just physically cannot keep up and practice is kicking my ass already. I have General G'Injure to thank for this and while its not a bad thing because I need to push myself more, it scares me and freaks me out and makes me anxious (like panic attack on the way home last night anxious) because if I can't cut it at practice my playing time in bouts could be affected and that just sucks. A lot.

Granted I am a pretty strong player, but I can only play for a jam or two at a time because my endurance isn't up there yet, but I'm getting better. I don't feel like I should be a huge factor for me, but I'm terrified that it might. Will I end up getting less time that the people who aren't as good because they have better endurance? Or will I be OK as long as I keep pushing myself as hard as I can even if that means being the slowest one on the track? Better yet, why am I worrying about this? Why not just suck it up and do it? That seems like a better tactic to take, right? But I'm still kinda freaked out by the whole thing.

On a happier note I finally ordered softer cushions for my Invader DA-45s and went from all purples to a purple and yellow combo and I definitely felt an improvement of the way my skates seemed to handle. I'm seriously considering jumping right into all yellow cushions at next practice. And I did feel like I was skating stronger since working out, but I've only worked out a handful of times before last night's practice so some of that might have all been in my head. *shrug* But yeah....yellows are good and blues might be better, but I'll wait and see. Off for schoolwork....boring! DL<3

Dixie von D.

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