frustration

Yep, missed a couple practice updates...nothing exciting to share that I can recall, which might explain why there was no update. Strategy, while necessary, bores the hell out of me and that was last week. Sunday freshie/endurance isn't exciting either, but more fun than strategy.

This week I simply find myself frustrated at myself. I'm always struggling with endurance and keeping up my speed and tonight I really felt that. It sucks to know you're the slowest of the bunch...or to feel like you are, but I'm pretty sure I am actually the slowest skater that's NOT fresh meat. After a year and still being so slow I feel rather beaten down in that regard. And at this point I'm not sure that my slowness is a matter of endurance the way it once was. I think I'm just slow....

Add to that my inability to complete a simple front to back transition (we have freshies that can do this, on their first night even) and I feel like I suck worse than ever. This is something that I've struggled with since I started skating and I simply cannot get my feet to do what I'm telling them to do while moving at speed. It is easy enough standing still, but a lot of things are easy when you're not really moving. I have this mental block or something in my head that tells me I can't do this...no matter how much I try. Plus not being able to complete said transition prevents me from learning a tomahawk stop as well, which isn't frustrating so much as it is annoying.

I love roller derby, but am starting to have my doubts about whether or not it loves me back...


Dixie