Just thoughts

I'm fast approaching my first derbyversary. When I started last July I had forgotten how to skate and couldn't hardly make two laps without breathing heavy. Luckily I'm not quite that bad anymore. But I am still struggling with my 25/5 and endurance issues. Exercise is always on my list, but as other things in my life occur it sometimes drops lower and lower until it is no longer a priority. Changing that would do me a world of good I think. But so far I haven't managed to do so. Honestly, I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I love derby and how I don't want to give it up. At the same time I'm starting to feel like that I should be able to do my 25/5 by now and if I can't do it soon i may step into being a ref for a while. I don't want to, but if I'm hurting my team by continuing to skate, then maybe stepping back to give someone else a shot might be in my best interest. I don't know what to do about this because the thing that has really forced me to look at this has been my inability to pass minimum skills. Or more accurately the 25/5 since I can do everything else. I'm pretty down today tho and I'm fully aware that my mood is certainly coloring my thoughts. Hopefully after practice tonight (on a floor that we can actually skate...it was so humid last week that any real maneuvering was IMPOSSIBLE, so we just kinda screwed around for a bit and called it an early night) I will be feeling better about my skating abilities and skills.