Off

Practice tonight wasn't bad, but several other skates also said they felt as though they were having an off night. I'm less frustrated than I was before, but I definitely almost had an anxiety attack a couple of times. I'm so sick of this...have an appointment tomorrow with my doctor so I'm gonna see what he says. One good thing that came out of tonight is that I've found a skater who is pretty close in ability to me so I can work with him (he's a ref) and try to push harder and feel as though I have a chance at improving rather than just sucking and falling further behind the super amazing skaters that I try to emulate. But I'm moving on from that right now before I start having a pity party.

I've found that short, choppy crossovers are not a bad thing for me and have started working on them. Once I find the PERFECT wheels (Yeah Right!!) I should be golden. At least until something else new and shiny comes along and catches my eye...but at any rate...I'm tired and ready for bed after a better than I expected practice. Derby and mental issues take a lot out of a girl...

Dixie

Just thoughts

I'm fast approaching my first derbyversary. When I started last July I had forgotten how to skate and couldn't hardly make two laps without breathing heavy. Luckily I'm not quite that bad anymore. But I am still struggling with my 25/5 and endurance issues. Exercise is always on my list, but as other things in my life occur it sometimes drops lower and lower until it is no longer a priority. Changing that would do me a world of good I think. But so far I haven't managed to do so. Honestly, I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I love derby and how I don't want to give it up. At the same time I'm starting to feel like that I should be able to do my 25/5 by now and if I can't do it soon i may step into being a ref for a while. I don't want to, but if I'm hurting my team by continuing to skate, then maybe stepping back to give someone else a shot might be in my best interest. I don't know what to do about this because the thing that has really forced me to look at this has been my inability to pass minimum skills. Or more accurately the 25/5 since I can do everything else. I'm pretty down today tho and I'm fully aware that my mood is certainly coloring my thoughts. Hopefully after practice tonight (on a floor that we can actually skate...it was so humid last week that any real maneuvering was IMPOSSIBLE, so we just kinda screwed around for a bit and called it an early night) I will be feeling better about my skating abilities and skills.

Current dream skates

Riedell 965, custom black and purple leather. Size 3 plate, either Invader DA45 or XK4 DA45, currently jonesing for Radar Zodiacs and will have at least bones reds. Currently skating a Rebel Invader package with a size 9 boot that for some reason has size 4 plates mounted to it...I thought the 3 would've been a better choice, but since I bought it as a package...*shrug* It's been good to me and will keep being good to me until I can afford to drop the money on the Riedells. Also, I need those Zodiacs right now, along with new elbow pads cause mine are shot...I have SEDs?? Probably...someone buy me skate stuff? I wish!! Derby love!!

Dixie

*grumbles*

Missed practice last night after having the absolute worst anxiety attack I have had in YEARS. I mean, it was the first one I'd had on months, but the probably one of the worst I've ever had. Hubby stayed home from work and as much as I wanted to go to practice I knew that it probably wasn't the best or safest idea for me. So I stayed home...now I'm sad about it cause I don't know if I'll get back on skates before next week and being off skates for too long really sucks! Besides we have a bout July 9th that I need to be ready for. I'm trying to make myself start training harder, per my last post, but when I don't feel well or am tired (my anxiety causes both of these things) then it gets hard very quickly for me to be interested in doing much. Today I'm grumpy and frustrated. I need some derby love.

Dixie

Penalty question

So in our bout Sunday I was one of the few players who did not get ANY penalties called on me. Like None. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Not One. So my questions is this: does this make ma just a very clean player or does it mean that I need to get out there and be more aggressive? Penalties seem to be a big part of derby as does aggressiveness and I really felt as though my aggression and hard hitting badassery was lacking in the bout Sunday. I wish there was video that I could watch, but I'm not sure how much there is or if I'm actually in any of it. I find so few pictures of myself on skates it makes me laugh. Does my hatred for the camera show so clearly? Or do people avoid me cause I'm huge? lol I laugh at that, but I'm not kidding. This is a rambly post. Any one want to weigh in on penalties or lack thereof?

Dixie von Doom

cardio plans...again

So after mnoths of hemming and hawing and half assing thins tonight I started again on an exercise routine. While I can skate well and generally appear to be pretty fit I have re-discovered just how poor my cardio conditioning is. On skates I'm not bad. Practice doesn't kill me quite like it used to, although General G'Injure makes sure we definitely get a workout. However, 45 minutes of cardio that ranged between jumping rope (I suck at it pretty hardcore now...used to be almost decent at it. it will change), jogging, walking, and random aerobics in my living room and I am dripping sweat. I feel like it was a good workout, although I didn't stretch nearly as well as I should've. My cat was very interested in my doing push-ups...which translates to he got in the way and every time I went down he was right there. I kept headbutting him in the side. LOL And, while I can't keep up with the pace at which we do push-ups at practice I have discovered that I can do at least 15 reps of girlie push-ups if I go at a slower pace. So while I'm not quite to the level of doing real push-ups I did see progress tonight. Also, does anyone else think that doing push-ups on skates and in your gear is harder than it should be? Just sayin'...And now tht I'm all sweaty and feel better after a workout, I'm gonna shower, start some laundry and chill until bedtime. Tomorrow's workout will be derby practice and Thursday might just be a long walk with the hubby, although he does encourage me to jog at least a bit during said walks. Off I go! DL<3!!

Dixie von D.

CCRD v. ERG

So, I missed a practice post cause I was too busy prepping for the bout that was up and coming very quickly. Said bout was yesterday...first bout ever for the Babes of Wrath as we took on the Eerie Roller Girls. We had a good crowd at the Jamestown Savings Bank Ice Arena and things went off without a hitch. But really, when all is said and done, everyone had an amazing time and we won our first bout!!!!! Right now I am too tired to even remember what the score was, but all I know is that we did it.

EDIT: After getting some sleep and checking with another skater I was informed that our final score was 163 Babes of Wrath to 137 Eerie Roller Girls

As per my usual post-bout feelings now that I've had time to relax and decompress I look back on my performance and feel like it was really poor. I feel like I never train hard enough and when I bout I lose a lot of the aggressiveness that I take to practice with me. My endurance is better each time bout and that is when it really shows me that it is better, but I still would like to get good enough that I can try jamming here and there. Back to drawing board! I'll post the score when someone reminds me what it was! DL<3

Dixie von D.