OMG...so last night at practice one of the QCRG skaters came down. She ran the entire practice the way they do it for a full endurance run. Suffice to say that my fat ass is fat and slow. LOL After a while I started getting really anxious because it was like being in school again where I was the worst player out there and always teased and picked last. Except the girls weren't picking on me; I could just remember that feeling so strong and my anxiety levels crashed through the roof especially as I kept skating until I couldn't breathe and had to stop and not being able to breathe will ramp my anxiety up even higher. Sometimes the anxiety thing is a no-win sitch.
Anyway after the 30 minute warm up that left me feeling puky and gross for a while I finally managed to get my stomach under control and headed back out on the floor for a few more drills. I feel like overall I didn't skate for more than an hour, but the whole time I was out there I was pushing hard, but I feel like not hard enough just because I'm sooo slow. Honestly I cannot go any faster and maintain my footing or a good stance. I know with time that this will improve, but it was still hard last night to see everyone absolutely skating laps around me. I wanna give a huge shout out to Jenga for being so encouraging ,especially during the cascade drills that were really fun, but exhausting all the same. Also, pretty short haired girl in the purple top who's name I cannot remember. When I started feeling really down ya'll both were awesome. Looking at getting a pair of cheapie skates off of eBay until I can afford the expensive pair that I want. I figure they've got to be better than rentals.
OK, so back to practice. Tuesday is amazing and awe inspiring and I really want to be like her. She's strong and fast and skates like she was born with wheels on her feet. I think seeing that and then comparing my own bumbling skating skills was a bad idea, but I did it without ever thinking about how it would affect me. Duh...We did serious endurance training and even some of our stronger girls were running hard and feeling pretty wiped so that made me feel a tiny bit less sucky. Wall sits aren't too bad, except they cramp my toes into my skates and make them hurt, but skating off the wall after holding that sit for a couple minutes is rough. Eventually it left me a bit shaky and I did fall, but it was nothing major. I need to work on my recovery time getting back up from falls though. Also, exercises for strengthening my back as I'm finding that after an extended amount of skating in a low derby stance I start to ache and it makes me want to straighten back up and skating straight gets you knocked on your ass in derby. And that was about it for me because as much as I want this I'm simply not in the shape I need to be in for it. Which means I've got to keep pushing and not let my anxiety get to me the way it did last night. I still can't get the skating backwards thing, but no worries there because eventually if I keep trying enough my feet and my head will figure it out and think oh that was easy what took so long...*shrug* Anyway that was my night and it gives me a lot to really work towards and improve upon and I know I'll get there, even if it's not happening as quickly as I'd like for it to. Any advice and suggestions are more than welcome cause this derby newb needs all the help she can get.