really, really late post...just to get caught up

So I know I haven't updated in a couple of weeks. My bad. The week after I bashed my head into a wall practice was canceled due to poor weather. I didn't feel the need to update that nonsense cause I was pissed about not getting my skate on. I had to work the following Saturday and this week I was really sick, but went to practice anyway.

I remember being really sick and skating anyway. Coach was in my face telling me I needed to skate harder. I got back in his face telling him to shut up cause at least I was out there skating, which was more than I could say for one of the other girls who was sick and also at practice, but not on skates. I pushed as hard as I could with the horrible ache in my chest and the head spinning dizziness. I think practice was good overall.

Saturday was supposed to be a split practice with another league in the local area, but they canceled on us and those of us that were there were all still sick and not feeling super great. So we skated, but not too hard. And now I'm just waiting for next week's practice that I expect to be all better for. We have a scrimmage in 13 days that I'm getting nervous about. I've also scheduled my first bout in June, plus we have another in July. For a new league with no experience I think we are doing well.

Also, on a totally unrelated note there was a local event going on over the weekend that several of our skates went to and volunteered as we know the people in charge of the event. It was great exposure for the league and for a good cause. Photos have surfaced on Facebook and when I saw them all I could think beyond how much fun the girls seemed to be having was that I was so glad I hadn't gone. Why? Because compared to my teammates I am a beast. And while that might be OK on the track if I can use my size to my advantage I would have both looked and felt ugly and out of place at the event. I'm not rally even looking forward to doing photo shoots for the league, but it's something that we will be doing. So I am talking to a friend about having him do mine so that I'm not completely uncomfortable in front of the camera.

The above train of thought makes me a bit sad because I thought I was doing so well at getting over all my insecurities and crazy issues. *sigh*